fresh start

We all wonder how to make each day as positive as possible. The internet is littered with articles about the best morning rituals and daily activities- from meditation, to tea drinking, to exercising- we tend to hear the same suggestions that will supposedly revolutionize our lives. The problem with these methods is that it gives us a to-do list, which when completed, should bring us happiness. This premise relies on certain assumptions: that drinking tea will make us healthier or more relaxed, and that meditation will make us more introspective and in tune with ourselves. However, assuming that these methods are the proper methods for each unique person is a drastic leap.

Instead, we need to be looking at the end goals, which will allow us to create a custom plan for ourselves. For instance, do not necessarily spend months meditating every day with the goal of becoming more in tune with your self and your surroundings. Instead, understand your goal and experiment with methods for reaching it. Perhaps the way you are best able to be in tune with yourself and others is through writing, or painting, or hiking. We must realize that we are all different, and thus reach the same end through different means.

This point is made well by Peter Drucker in his Harvard Business Review article, Managing Oneself. Although Drucker applies these ideas in a business sense, versus applying these ideas for personal growth, the point remains the same. He mentions how we all learn differently, work differently, have different values/focuses, etc. He says that many people are not aware of their natural tendencies, but think that they are. You can read the entirety of his article here at hbr.org.

Drucker suggests that in order to truly understand your personal tendencies, the most effective solution is to keep a journal, or use some other self reflective method over time. By noting the way various scenarios effect you, you will be able to look back with more objectivity than subjective feelings within the moment. You will get to see if drinking tea really made you more relaxed, instead of simply thinking I really feel this green tea relaxing me. The same idea can be applied to the pursuit of happiness. Focus on the goals you would like to achieve (like relaxation) and try methods for yourself. Keep a journal and eventually, you will learn what is actually the best method for you to personally use.

Overall, while we strive for each of these goals, we must remember that there is no “one size fits all.” Reading lists about ways to improve family communications or life purpose will certainly give you ideas on how to find those things, but they are not the only methods, and they very likely may not be methods that work for you.

For instance, improving physical health does not mean 30 minutes of cardio a day and weights 3 times a week. It does not mean interval training or intense workouts to try to get that “beach bod.” What it does mean is altering your exercise regime and diet in a way that makes you feel physically in-tune with yourself. If you are always out of breath, try some cardio. If you are always stiff, try some yoga. Focus on diets and exercises which target ways in which you can feel better, not the latest fitness craze.

Similarly, improving mental health does not mean doing de-stressing exercises or creating goal lists for yourself. It may mean this, but not necessarily. If you have been feeling restless recently, try engaging yourself in a new, more challenging job or project. If you feel worn out, try seeking a more positive, rejuvenating environment to spend part of your day in.

No matter what part of your life you are trying to improve, remember to keep that journal. Write down how each activity makes you feel. Down the road you can see if any effects were truly there, and how long lasting they were. And more than anything, remember not to force anything which isn’t working for you. Meditation doesn’t have to make you feel relaxed, Interval Training doesn’t have to make you feel physically healthier. Each one of us is different, so remember to start focusing on the results, and not just the trends.

Photo Courtesy Yann (talk) - Own work, GFDL, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=7866365